


To Rearrange Delivery Time Press 1

by FicNess



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Detailed birth, M/M, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Unplanned Pregnancy, natural birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 14:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8849026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicNess/pseuds/FicNess
Summary: Harry in labor on tour, plot twist? no one knows he’s pregnant.





	

Harry looked at himself in the tour bus bathroom mirror and adjusted his loose t-shirt and blazer so they were covering the very distinctive swell of his stomach. He sighed. He knew he was lucky. The clothes he had taken to wearing at the start of this extremely unplanned pregnancy allowed him to still hide it pretty easily now at eight months in. He miraculously didn’t have a very big bump - in fact he could still perform with his usual vigor - and although the ‘thing’ inside him seemed particularly active, you couldn’t really tell there was anything there, growing within him. Well, unless you were looking for it and picked up on some of the not so subtle (if he was honest) signs. But a carefully positioned jacket, well placed arm and clever posture during interviews added to by uncharacteristically careful behavior had allowed him to protect his secret, even if the weather during the summer festival circuit was actually way too warm for the jacket. He was fed up though; he just wanted it over and done with.

He felt like he’d been pregnant forever.

He remembered the start of his pregnancy, the little clues that something had not been right, that just maybe he’d seriously fucked up. The sickness that had far too obviously become morning sickness, the most horrendous bone-deep tiredness he had ever experienced and then to top it all tender nipples. That had all given him the first inkling that perhaps there was something going on that he really wasn’t ready or prepared for. Then there was the swelling of his stomach a little at a time before the first flutters of movement had started. All the positive tests he had taken, each time convincing himself that this one would be negative, all the effort at trying to convince himself it was his imagination, that the hectic life they had on tour was fucking with his body. Then the sickening knowledge that it was really happening, that he had a packet of birth control pills with a weekend still in them that shouldn’t have been.

All of it had lead to now.

And today things just felt wrong. He’d felt strange last night and it had carried on to this morning. He wasn’t hungry at all and was very uncomfortable, small twinges in his back and hips that made doing almost anything uncomfortable. His pelvis felt so full, had for about a week, and as yet he had no idea what that meant. Quite often he’d found himself setting safe search on google when he had managed to get a few minutes alone with his computer, always deleting his history anyway, desperate for information. The more he surfed the more the pictures of ‘your baby this week’ had torn him apart, so he’d stopped himself looking. He hadn’t seen a doctor or midwife at all and everything he knew had come from reading in bookshops and libraries on free days. The clothes he wore now had also been hastily purchased from thrift shops when he’d managed to shake the others off.

He sighed and adjusted his pants so the waist was under his bump and got ready to leave the room. Only three more dates - luckily all UK - left then he would be home. He could give birth in his own bed, away from prying eyes and curious friends, and take the baby to the hospital. Another couple of weeks and no one would need to be any the wiser about it. This little accident, this whole thing, could be forgotten. He didn’t know how he was going to give birth alone; how he would explain the baby away when he handed it over, how he would cope giving up something he actually wanted so desperately. But he’d have to find a way, even if it broke his heart.

He couldn’t do this, it would wreck everything they had spent so long working for.

He rubbed the spot where the ‘thing’ within him had just kicked. He didn’t like to think of it as a baby, he couldn’t afford to form an attachment. He didn’t want a kid, he needed to keep telling himself that despite knowing how untrue it was. It had been a one-night stand, an accident with fucking up his pills and a broken condom after meeting a hot guy in a nightclub that he just couldn’t resist. Being on tour too long and denied the kind of physical contact you crave … well, it made the best of them a little crazy.

And mid American tour crazy had lead him to this.

The sooner this was all over the better. It was enough that the kicks and rolls had been reminding him it was there, inside him, for the last few months.

He just wanted it over.

He adjusted the blazer once more and walked out into the main part of the bus and away from the bathroom. Louis ran past him, a bag of marshmallows in his hands that was lofted above his head. Liam was running behind him.

“Louis, put them down! For the love of God, no more sugar!” he shouted as Louis legged it from the tour bus.

Harry shook his head and a brief smile curled on his lips. “He found the candy hiding place then?”

“Yeah and he’d eaten about half of it by the time the rest of us got up.” Zayn buttered his toast and offered a slice to Harry who shook his head. “What time are we on today?”

Harry made his way over to the counter and fixed himself a mug of Yorkshire tea from Louis’ stash. “We’re on at half past nine,” he said, taking the first mouthful and seconds later regretting it, feeling the thing within him begin to pound either its feet or hands against his stomach. He muffled his groan by taking another sip of the drink Louis had got them all addicted to, which only made the pounding worse. He finished the mug anyway.

As he put the mug down there was a commotion by the bus door. Banging and shouts of ‘yes’ and ‘no’. This was followed by Liam climbing in with Louis slung over his shoulder.

“Sit the fuck down, Tomlinson,” Liam said, throwing the offending, and now sulking, singer onto the bench. “And I’m getting rid of these.” He waved the bag of marshmallows in Louis’s face.

Liam walked into the kitchen and opened a cupboard, taking a few more large bags of marshmallows down as well. Louis made a ‘humph’ noise and crossed his arms over his chest, completing the petulant child stance by looking down at his feet. Liam shoved the bags into a carrier and left the tour bus once more.

“He’s gonna give them to Ashton. But Ashton will share ‘em all with Luke and Michael and then they’ll all be running around high as kites and I won’t be.” Louis sulked.

“And that’s good,” Harry said. “That means Calum will have to deal with Ashton, and Niall is still hanging with them so he’ll be forced by Calum to muzzle Luke and Michael. And you, my dear friend, will remain calm and collected until our set.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth a few times, then blew a raspberry at Harry as him and Zayn exchanged long suffering glances and laughed.

xxxxxx xxxxxx

Louis continued to sulk about the lack of sugar for the next half an hour while Harry sat trying to write down all the thoughts that were buzzing around inside his head. Every now and again Louis would poke Harry in the ribs with a bony finger and Harry would flinch and shuffle a little further away. His chest hurt and he thought with all the stimulation to his nipples from the poking he was possibly leaking slightly - and God was he glad his blazers always covered that on the handful of occasions it had happened - but he was too afraid to check. Why couldn’t Louis leave him alone? The discomfort he’d felt all day wasn’t improving. In fact he felt more fidgety than Louis normally looked. No position was offering any kind of comfort or relief. He sighed, put down his pen and journal then, with great difficulty and trying to make it look like he wasn’t carrying a bowling ball around his middle, hauled himself from his seat.

“Where’re you going?” Louis asked, looking hopeful.

“I’m going for a walk. You’re staying here,” he said, pushing a hand into the small of his back. “I just need to be on my feet for a bit. I’ll be back soon.” He walked to the front of the bus. “Hey, Liam?” Liam poked his head around the door of the bunks. “He’s all yours for a bit.”

 

Zayn laughed as Liam’s mouth opened and closed a few times and Harry left the bus.

He’d just got around the corner of the bus when a familiar yet at the same time unfamiliar pain gripped him. He moaned and slumped against the warm metal, his hands going to his bump. He knew what Braxton-Hicks were, and he knew he’d been having them for the last month or so. This felt like one of them only … worse and more intense. It gripped his stomach, thighs and back as it peaked before traveling to his ass and it knocked the breath from him. It tightened for about thirty seconds and then faded again.

No, he thought, panicking slightly. I’ve got four weeks. Must be Braxton-Hicks. It can’t be yet.

He squashed the thought down. He wasn’t ready to be in labor and if he wasn’t ready then it wasn’t happening. He concentrated on returning his breathing back to normal and then moved on. He just had to keep busy, that was all. The pain wouldn’t come back and he’d be okay. He’d finish the day, sleep it off and then finish the rest of the tour. His body was just warning him, that was all. It wasn’t time yet.

xxxxx xxxxx

Later on that afternoon, when Harry had returned to the bus, Louis and Zayn decided they were hungry. Harry had spent most of the morning walking around the traveling circus that a tour always turned it to, the pains becoming more frequent and more harsh as time went on. They had started off at half hour intervals and had now reached roughly fifteen minutes apart. He was still denying they were happening, convincing himself that they were just Braxton-Hicks even if that convincing was getting harder and harder. He had four weeks left before the birth by his calculations of when he had conceived - and it was the only day it could have possibly happened.

This couldn’t be real.

So far he had managed to keep the fact that he was in pain hidden, but the pain was getting worse.

The group had just left the bus park and were moving to the tours’ social area when they bumped into an exhausted looking Calum, who was carrying his and Ashton’s sleeping two-year-old daughter in his arms. She hadn’t exactly been planned either if they were entirely honest, but she was beautiful with her dark chocolate eyes and hair and caramel skin. Her shoulder length hair had Ashton’s messiness to it. Not too far away Niall was following a madly giggling Ashton who was waving some spare strings with glee while Michael filmed them on his iPhone. Ashton kept running in circles around Niall and then taking off in a different direction.

Niall looked pissed.

“Um … what …?” Harry started, his hand pressed into the small of his back to try and gain some relief from the pressure that had been building all day.

“Ashton,” Luke said, rolling his eyes but smiling fondly.

Calum laughed. “Michael decided it would be a really good idea to challenge Niall and Ashton to eat a whole bag of marshmallows in under a minute. You know Niall. Not the kind of dare he’s ever gonna turn down, regardless of his shitty gag reflex. Mind you, he never turns any dare down. So he did it, and so did Ashton, and Michael and now Ashton is climbing the busses and he’s holding Niall’s spare strings hostage. Michael thought it’d be funny to film it and put it on facebook.”

Louis, Zayn, Liam and Harry laughed and Sandy, who was walking past, shoved his own spare strings that he had been about to put on his Gibson into his pocket, part of him fearing that Ashton would turn on him next.

“You’d think being four months gone would knock the wind out of his sails a bit. But no,” Calum stopped to kiss Poppy’s forehead, “it makes no difference at all. Here or on stage.” He shifted the little girl in his arms and she transferred her thumb to her mouth. “We’re off to catering to get some food. You guys joining us?”

“Sure,” Louis said. “We were going there any-” But he didn’t get to finish that sentence.

“Ashton you kangaroo shagger! Get your lazy, fat ass back here!” Niall bellowed and ran past them, trying to catch up with Ashton who had just barreled behind the catering van. “Oi! Pregnant fucker! I’m talking to you!”

Calum sighed and turned to Luke who stifled a laugh. “Here.” He handed Poppy to her uncle who grinned and wrapped her in his arms. “I better go deal with him before Niall kills him.”

Niall and Ashton who were now running in circles, chasing each other while people with trays dived all over the place to avoid them. Josh was laughing his ass off as Paul fell over, spilling his food all down himself and cussing at the retreating figures of Niall and Ashton who were heading for the bus park. Calum was shaking his head as he slowly made his way back to his own tour bus and an equally excitable Ashton.

“He’s still not showing much is he,” Harry said, focusing on Ashton’s only slightly swollen stomach as Calum dragged him, sulking, back over to them.

“Well, he is only four months,” Luke said, tickling Poppy’s nose and turning her away from Michael who was making grabby hands for the little girl and pouting.

“And he didn’t really show last time until he hit six months. Then overnight it just kinda … wham!” Calum waved his arms about in a vague approximation of a pregnant Ashton. “Suddenly he had a huge bump. And about a week after that he couldn’t reach his drums anymore.”

Ashton groaned. “Oh man, I’d forgotten about that!” Calum pulled him into his arms and rubbed his back in a soothing manner. “Mind you,” Ashton looked at Poppy his eyes radiating love, “she was so worth it.”

 

“Totally,” Calum agreed.

Harry felt a brief stab of pain in his chest thinking about the baby he was about to give away. Calum and Ashton adored Poppy and the little girl adored them too. They were the perfect little family. He sighed. He, however, just wasn’t the ready to show that he was actually the maternal type. And what would he do with a baby anyway? Seeing the Five Seconds Of Summer boys he knew it was possible to survive with a baby on tour. In fact, Calum, Ashton and Poppy seemed to really get a kick out of it. But his band? He hadn’t even told them he was expecting. No, he had to stick to his original plan. He couldn’t have a baby. He just couldn’t.

The two groups made their way over to an empty table and a couple of people at a time they went and got food. Harry still wasn’t hungry and was exceptionally uncomfortable so he chose a cup of tea and nothing else. He wasn’t always a picky eater, but no one questioned him on it, even if Louis did put a plate in front of him when he came back from the food trailer.

“Never have anything decent. Like they’ve never met an Aussie before …” Ashton was muttering to himself as he prodded a poor excuse for a sausage with his fork.

“Sure the sausage doesn’t need to be tortured,” Calum said.

“Says the guy who spent most of last night torturing mine.” Ashton snickered.

Michael smacked Ashton around the head and Luke laughed while Calum went an entertaining shade of red. Louis looked between them all and laughed then shoveled a few chips into his mouth while still smiling widely. Liam, Niall and Zayn grinned at each other then made a selection of perverse hand gestures that suggested ways that Calum could have been torturing Ashton’s sausage last night.

Harry, however, was much more concerned with the contraction that was currently building. He raised his mug to his mouth and pretended to drink while biting his lip and holding his breath.

No, he reminded himself, not a contraction. Just a Braxton-Hicks.

Ashton looked up from torturing his sausage to join in with embarrassing Calum, and ended up face to face with Harry. Harry’s face looked … well , wrong in some way. When he looked down his t-shirt had pulled tight because of the way he was sat and his jacket had fallen wide open. Ashton’s eyes went wide. A bump? Was Harry … was he pregnant? He looked again. If he was, and he didn’t really know what else could explain such a perfectly rounded stomach, he was very pregnant. He looked up to make eye contact, about to ask how far along he was and to say congratulations, maybe ask why he hadn’t told them, ask who the father was (*cough* Louis *cough*), when he saw the grimace that was just fading off Harry’s face. Was Harry in pain? He bit his lip and watched as the grimace faded completely and his face slipped back to its neutral mask.

The cogs in his head began to whir. Bump … pain … no one seemed to notice … He was a little worried, but he needed to give Harry a bit more time before he said anything. He needed more proof to support the idea that was beginning to form.

As they ate, Ashton eyed Harry carefully. He picked at the food that Louis had insisted on getting him and he was obviously distracted. Mind you, he very rarely still had panic attacks before shows because of nerves, so it wasn’t necessarily that abnormal. He shifted in his seat and Ashton watched as he screwed his eyes shut and bit his lip, trying to hide what was clearly pain behind his tea mug. Harry’s knuckles went white around the mug and a small grunt passed his lips, despite his best efforts to keep it in. Ashton worried his lip then opened his mouth to speak but at the last second changed his mind.

Whatever was going on Harry obviously didn’t want the world knowing about it.

For the rest of the somewhat hectic and loud meal – which involved two food fights, footprints on the tables and catering coming over to tell them off a grand total of six times - Ashton kept his eyes on Harry. He watched him trying not to appear to be watching Calum as he helped their little girl eat her lunch with her very own One Direction spoon and fork - a birthday present from Niall at a guess. He saw his eyes repeatedly flicker to his own large bump and to his four month one. He saw the pain flash across his face at regular, and increasingly frequent, intervals. When the One Direction boys got up to leave Ashton followed. After watching how Harry looked at Poppy, how he looked at Ashton, after seeing the bump and the pain that kept crossing his face … he was sure now.

"Hey. Harry.” Ashton put his hand on Harry’s wrist and waited for him to turn. When he did there was no mistaking the fear and pain in his eyes. Ashton felt his heart breaking for him. So no one knew. How had he managed to go it alone this long? It was obvious to him now. If his band mates had known they would have done something to help, particularly Louis. He had done far too good a job hiding it and was far to proficient at not asking for help when he so obviously needed it. “Can I … can we talk? Just for a second.”

Harry looked extremely reluctant and the rest of his band exchanged quizzical glances. Harry loved hanging with the Five Seconds guys, so why so reluctant now? “Um …we were about to … we have stuff to do.”

“It won’t take long,” Ashton said, pleading with him.

Harry sighed and nodded then let Ashton drag him to a table that was far way from where anyone else was. If Harry wasn’t ready to tell anyone he certainly wasn’t ready to be overheard.

“Okay.” Ashton looked at Harry who had dropped his head and was trying to avoid Ashton’s eyes. “I don’t think there’s any way to be subtle about this, so I’m just gonna say it, whether you want to hear it or not.” He placed his hand on his own bump, rubbing the top of the swell, and began to speak softly. "You’re pregnant, possibly - no definitely - in labor, no one knows about it, and I’m fairly sure that you’re not full term.”

Harry went red and stayed looking downwards, both hands gripping the edge of the bench so hard his knuckles went white. He sniffed and Ashton wondered if he was crying.

“Harry,” Ashton let a hand sneak forward and he placed it carefully on Harry’s shoulder, “it’s okay. I promise everything is gonna be fine. I’m in awe of you for managing on your own so long. I’ve been through it once and I’m about to do it again so I know how damn hard it is. But the baby is coming, isn’t it?”

As if on cue Harry’s face contorted into a mask of pain and he took in a breath, holding it and biting his lip so hard that Ashton was surprised it wasn’t bleeding.

“Don’t hold your breath, breathe through it.” Ashton was now pretty sure that Harry hadn’t even seen a midwife. He’d have been to lamaze class by now if he had. “In and out slowly through your mouth,” Ashton said, rubbing his shoulder reassuringly and demonstrating as he tried to help. Harry copied and eventually his face and body relaxed as the pain passed. “Harry, your contractions are about twelve minutes apart. You should be getting help really soon. Your baby is coming. Has your water broken yet?”

Suddenly Harry’s face flashed with uncharacteristic anger and he raised his eyes to Ashton’s. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Leave me alone.” he hissed.

Harry hauled himself to his feet and Ashton shot up, his hand slipping from Harry’s shoulder. “Harry. I’ve been there. I know what this is like. It’s okay.”

“No,” Harry hissed under his breath, “nothing is okay. And I’m not pregnant, and I’m not in labor. And if you come near me again so help me I will …”

“Harry? Everything okay?” Louis appeared by his side, watching the pair of them carefully. Harry looked between Ashton and Louis and then turned and walked away.

For a few seconds Ashton didn’t know what to say. Should he tell Harry’s bandmates? Was he imagining it? Of course he wasn’t imagining it, he’d just seen Harry going through something he had two years ago and something like that you don’t forget. He dropped his head into his hands and scrubbed his face. Liam walked over to Ashton and Niall and Zayn followed Harry as he stalked away.

“Look, just keep an eye on Styles, okay? And if there are any problems… if … if you think you need help with him … for whatever reason, come get me. Okay? I don’t care if we’re in the middle of a set, you find me. Got it?”

 

Louis looked a little freaked out but nodded. “O-ok.” He’d never heard Ashton speak to anyone like that. Particularly not them, particularly not people who were older than he was.

 

Ashton sighed and placed his hands on his bump, rubbing it gently, imagining having to go it alone and no one knowing. He would have crumbled a long time ago. “Just … don’t be afraid to come get me. I’m here for you guys.”

Louis walked off, more confused as he’d ever been in his life. After a couple more seconds Liam nodded and walked back to the rest of his band. There was some chatter that Ashton couldn’t hear and Louis shrugged his shoulders and waved his hands around a bit at Liam.

Ashton turned and walked back over to Calum. He sat down heavily, slumping sideways to lean on him. “We need to go out.”

“Okay, what’s going on?” Calum wrapped his arms around Poppy and looked at his boyfriend, his face quietly concerned. He’d watched the exchange with Harry and then the one with Liam and Louis that followed. “What was that about and why are we going out?”

Ashton looked up at him, his eyes tired and worried. “It’s not my place to tell.” His eyes followed a retreating Harry Styles. “You’ll probably find out in a few hours anyway.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand while Calum let one hand land on his bump and strok it softly. “But they’re gonna need our help, the guys. Especially Harry,” he said.

“Ok.” He looked into Ashton’s eyes, seeing the need to help, some kind of desperation and nervousness just under the surface. “Ok, we can go. But do I get to know anything about this?”

“I think it’s gonna be pretty obvious when you see where we’re going.” He looked at Calum and Poppy and smiled. “Hey, Princess,” he stroked her forehead, brushing her unruly hair from her eyes, “want to go shopping?”

She giggled and nodded and held her arms out to Ashton, asking for her mom to take her.

xxxxxx xxxxxx

Harry had been hiding the dressing room for hours, wondering what the hell he was going to do. This was so far away from the plan he’d had when he’d finally accepted that he was pregnant. He was still giving birth alone but there was nothing he could do about hiding the baby anymore. Currently he was leant over a chair, his hips rocking, as he moaned loudly and tried to breathe. A contraction had him tightly in its grip. He’d discovered that rocking his hips and breathing in slowly through his nose and then out through his mouth helped lessen the pain. But it was less and less effective as time passed and the actual moment of delivery got nearer. This was the worst contraction yet and his labor had been going on for far too long, in his opinion. The contractions were literally one on top of the other, two minutes apart and lasting a full minute. He could feel the baby pressing down at the entrance to his birth canal, almost making him want to push. All he could do right now was follow what his body told him it needed.

With panic he realized that there was hardly any time until the others came looking for him, wanting to prepare and do their pre-show ritual for tonight.

He knew he was almost ready to push and his friends were maybe already looking for him. And when that happened …

He slumped forward over the back of the chair as the contraction subsided and let one hand land on his bump. He’d thrown his jacket down earlier and now he was just in his t-shirt and pants, his back sweaty and damp patches at his nipples, which it had finally sunk in was his milk. He began to rub circles over the stretched surface of his bump, attempting to soothe the baby which kicked up a storm after each vicious pain. He wiped his forehead on the back of his hand and took a huge gulp from a bottle of water he’d thrown onto the chair when he could still move around freely. He hated this – he could feel tears threatening to overflow each time he felt a fresh volley of pain rip through him. He really didn’t think he could take much more and he was terrified of what was about to happen when people found out. Harry straightened up and pushed his hands into the small of his back, trying to stretch the tightened muscles around the base of his spine. He was breathing slowly through his mouth, taking in large lungfuls of air. It offered no relief what so ever, in fact it made him feel a little dizzy.

“Hey, Harry?” there was a knock at the door and Louis’s voice carried in to his room.

“Go away,” he shouted back, trying to make his voice as steady and even as possible.

“Haz, we only have, like, half an hour until we’re needed stage side.” Louis said.

“Go away.”

Louis knocked once more. “Harry, there’s no more time. I’m coming in.”

“No!” Harry shouted. “Just stay … ah!” he stopped talking and moaned loudly as the next contraction started.

“Harry? You ok?” Louis sounded worried. Harry was in pain, obviously, and he had no idea why or what to do about it.

Harry, safely shut behind the door, couldn’t answer. All he could do was moan and pant as the pressure and pain got worse and worse, building to a crescendo. The urge to push was beginning to build. Not enough to act on yet, but it was getting stronger with each passing second and each contraction.

“Harry?” Louis knocked again, fear lacing his voice, and Liam, Zayn and Niall exchanged worried looks. “Harry? Harry?” there was still no answer. Louis looked between his bandmates then made his decision. “Harry? I’m coming in.”

Harry wanted to shout no but he was too busy just trying to breathe and not collapse in a heap on the floor. Before he could do anything to stop it the door was thrown open and his bandmates burst in. ‘I really should have thought to lock it’, his brain supplied, but then at that point it had been the least of his worries. Once his band were through the door they all stood just inside the room with their mouths open, staring at the sight before them.

“Harry?” Louis could clearly see the bump that Harry had obviously been hiding for a very long time. And he looked exhausted; sweating, moaning and gasping, obviously struggling to draw in air as he leant over and gripped the chair back with white knuckles. How the hell had they not noticed it? “Jesus, Harry. Are you pregnant?”

Liam had taken in the whole situation and added the parts together faster than Louis had. “Shit Lou, I think more importantly he’s in labor.”

“Fuck,” was the only response Louis had.

Louis ran over to him, a hand landing on his back as he leant down to talk to him. “It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m gonna get help.” The need to call an EMT didn’t even register over his panic, then he remembered that Ashton had spoken to them earlier. If they needed help they should … “He knew.” He turned to face his band. “Get Ashton. Go get Ashton.”

He looked back at Harry who had slumped forward onto the chair once more. The boys were all frozen to the spot, not knowing how to react. As the contraction ended Harry’s breathing began to even out and as he straightened up again there was a splash. Harry gasped and then looked at Louis, the tears he had been fighting finally falling. He’d never felt fear like it. He wriggled his toes and could feel the warm liquid around his bare feet; he knew what it meant.

“Louis? I’m scared,” he sniffed.

Liam looked at the growing puddle at Harry’s feet. “And your water just broke.”

Harry’s water breaking seemed to snap them all back into the moment and Liam took off through the door, finally able to move and off in search of Ashton. Harry groaned. The pressure in his pelvis had intensified with his water breaking and the small urges to push that he had been feeling had increased. It was suddenly the only thing in his head now that his waters were no longer acting as a cushion between his cervix and the baby’s head. The baby was right there, pressing down, demanding its freedom, and he needed to help it out. He turned to face Louis, not quite daring to let go of the chair.

“Lou?” He sniffed and managed to stop the tears. He only had maybe thirty seconds before the next contraction and he didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself from pushing when he could feel the need in every fibre of his being. “Help me. Please.”

Louis stood up and looked around, not having a clue what to do with himself. “Wh … what should I do?”

Harry looked down at himself. His pants were soaked and there was no way he could deliver the baby with them on. “Um …” he blushed. “Need my pants off.”

“What?” Louis swallowed heavily, he looked scared and moved back away from Harry in shock. “Why?”

Harry sighed and wondered how he was going to explain when he ran out of time and the next contraction hit, taking away the ability to and also the need. “Gotta … push,” he managed to grunt out before his body took over and he was bearing down anyway.

Louis didn’t know what to do with himself. All he knew was that Harry was having a baby, pushing it out at that exact fucking second, and he hadn’t had a clue he was even pregnant. Okay so his mom was a midwife but it wasn’t as if he’d ever actually been there for a delivery! He was so out of his depth. He stood there open mouthed as Harry moved so he was squatted, his chin to his chest as his face scrunched with effort. Harry didn’t know why he was squatting, but his body just seemed to demand it and it felt good, pushing felt good and this position felt right.

“That’s it Haz. Push! You’re doing good,” Louis had rushed to Harry’s side and was rubbing his back and talking soothingly to him. Finally after far too long the pain seemed to stop and Harry stood up once more, panting, and Louis stood with him with a new focus in his eyes. “You need your pants off?” he asked. Harry nodded. “Ok, I’m gonna kneel down. Put your hands on my shoulders so I can do it.”

Harry nodded as he watched Louis sink down in front of him and undo his skin tight black pants. He wanted to be embarrassed, to be angry, but he couldn’t be anything other than grateful. As they slid down his legs he was relieved that the clinging wetness was gone. Louis repeated the procedure with Harry’s boxerbriefs.

“Ok, all done. What do you want me to do now?”

Harry was about to answer Louis when Liam pushed through the door with Ashton and Calum in tow. Ashton ran straight over to Harry and Calum put down the bag he was carrying and went into the bathroom.

“Hey,” Ashton said placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“Ashton,” Harry sounded so relieved. “I’m sorry … I …”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, ok?” he looked Harry over. “How far have things got?”

Harry felt his eyes tear up again and he was unable to answer, so Louis did it for him. “His water broke. Like, a minute or two ago. And just now he started … he’s pushing,” he said, standing up and letting Harry lean on him.

“Ok,” Ashton looked around the room and Calum came back with some towels.

Harry moaned as the next contraction hit him. He immediately sunk down, Louis sinking down to his knees and still supporting him, as he began to push once more. Ashton was soon kneeling behind him and laying out the towels that Calum had passed him. Once he was happy with their positioning between Harry’s legs he sent Niall for something, but Harry wasn’t really paying attention to what. He soon found out when a cool cloth wiped around his neck and over his face. If it wasn’t for the huge contraction he was having he would have sighed with relief.

“Only push when you feel the urge during the contraction,” Ashton said, rubbing the small of his back gently. Harry lifted his head, sucked in a breath, then carried on pushing. “That’s it. The urge comes and goes, so just work with it, ok? Don’t push when you’re not feeling it as it’s waisting energy.”

Harry moaned and slumped forward as the contraction finished. “It hurts,” Louis held him gently, fighting the urge to lean forward and kiss him.

“I know,” Ashton said. “But if you’re pushing then it’s nearly over,” Ashton opened the bag Calum had brought with him and took out a tiny hat. Louis stared at it. He’d not seen anything quite so small since the twins were babies. “What did the EMT’s say?”

Niall, Zayn and Liam all looked at each other. Ashton shook his head and rolled his eyes at them. “Go call ‘em.”

Zayn went and stood by the door and called for an ambulance, just as another contraction hit Harry. He moaned loudly and began to push again, his head flopping onto Louis’s shoulder. Ashton searched the bag and pulled out some first aid gloves and pulled them on. Harry continued to push until the contraction eased off.

“I can feel it. It’s coming,” Harry was almost in full on tears again. “I … I … I’m not ready … I don’t know …”

Ashton put his hand on Harry’s back once more, just brushing in soothing circles. “It’s ok. Just get baby out, then think about the rest.”

Harry felt a tear slip from his eye and Louis brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. Harry licked his lips and tried to speak, his voice cracking. “I’m sorry Lou … I should have told you … I …”

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Louis said, squeezing Harry’s shoulder. “If you really want to you can tell me all about it later, and you know I’d love to hear it, but none of that really matters. Right now, I just want to meet your kid.”

Harry looked at Louis and was about to speak when, once again, another contraction gripped him. As he sucked in a breath Liam came forward from the spot he had been frozen in and started stroking Harry’s arm, both he and Louis now offering support.

“Medics say they’ll be about fifteen minutes,” Zayn put his cell back in his pocket and went and knelt the other side of Harry, Niall following and standing beside Zayn. All three were now stroking whatever part of Harry they could reach.

“Harry?” Ashton looked at his watch and then looked at the trembling boy in front of him who was already well into the pushing stage. He said his name again and Harry made a noise that meant he’d heard. “I don’t think baby’s gonna wait another fifteen minutes. It seems to be moving pretty fast for a first timer. I was pushing for nearly forty five minutes! Can you feel it moving down?” Harry nodded. “Then it’s almost here. Just keep doing what you’re doing, ‘cos you’re doing great. When the head’s about to come… soon it’s …” Ashton decided blunt and honest was best. “It’s gonna burn like fuck, ok? Once you feel that burning start then pant, don’t push, Ok?” Harry nodded.

Harry took a deep breath and slumped into Louis’s arms. “Lou, this hurts so much.”

“I know I know,” Louis kissed Harry’s forehead, telling himself it was just to comfort him. And besides, he really had no clue what Harry was going through. ”But it’s nearly over.“

Calum walked over to the small group huddled on the floor. He tapped Liam on the shoulder and gestured to the other side of the room then began to walk to it slowly. Liam, Niall and Zayn looked at each other over Harry and moved back, going to stand with Calum to give them more room.

“If he’s anything like Ashton, he’s only gonna want … well … you know,” Calum waved his hands around, “giving birth doesn’t exactly look like a heap of fun. Or a spectator sport. Leave him to Louis.”

Niall looked puzzled and Calum rolled his eyes then pointed to how gently Louis was holding Harry, murmuring calming things into his ear, stroking his back and shoulders in a soothing manner. Niall’s eyes went wide then a smile settled on his face and he nodded too. Harry’s voice carried over to where they were standing.

"Oh God, another one,” without thinking Harry straightened up and dropped his chin to his chest, a small moan escaping as he began to push again.

“That’s it,” Louis pressed his forehead to Harry’s, his arms holding him tightly. “Push, just a little,” Louis kept their foreheads pressed tightly together feeling when the need to push eased off a little despite the contraction carrying on due to the strength of Harry’s grip on his biceps. “Stop Harry, stop. Take a breath.” Harry stopped momentarily to suck in a breath then his face scrunched up, his nose wrinkling, before he carried on pushing until the contraction wore off. "Louis, I can’t do this. I just can’t,” Harry began to cry in earnest, the tears spilling from the corners of his eyes.

“You can. And you almost have. It’s nearly over, Harry. Just a few more pushes. You’re about to have a baby.”

“But Lou …”

“Harry, it’s your baby. It’s gonna be amazing.”

“Lou, that …” The sentence finished on a low moan as another contraction ripped through his skinny body.

Louis dropped a hand to Harry’s bump, feeling the skin tighten and the muscles heave with the effort of delivering the baby. Louis bit his lip, unable to comprehend the pain and fear that must have been coursing through Harry at that moment, the exhaustion that was obvious in each movement.

So far Harry had been pushing for ten minutes but at the end of the contraction at sixteen minutes something changed. Instead of returning to his position slumped on Louis, Harry’s legs jolted and he moaned loudly.

“Fuck, fuck it burns. Make it stop, holy fuck!” he threw his head against Louis’s shoulder, whimpering.

Ashton immediately sprung in to action, his hand dropping between Harry’s spread legs. “Easy, easy,” Ashton did something with his hand that made Harry hiss and then smiled at Louis over his shoulder. “I can feel the head. You’re crowning, and this is the worst bit. I promise. The head is stretching you, alright? After this it’s not going to be as bad. But on the next contraction I need you to pant not push. We need to ease baby out. Ok Harry? Pant, not push.”

Despite the haze of pain fogging his mind Harry nodded, his legs moving restlessly as he tried to get some vague relief from the burning feeling and pressure that was splitting him in two. Louis leant down and whispered in his ear. “This is it Hazza, this is it.”

Harry lifted his head a little. “Shit Louis, it’s so …Ngh …” His chin dropped to his chest as the next contraction hit and he sucked in a breath, preparing to push.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Louis put two fingers below Harry’s chin and tilted his head up. “Pant, Harry, pant. Like this,” Louis began to pant and despite being in a lot of pain Harry managed to follow his example. Louis kept his eyes locked with Harry as he felt him squirm. When the contraction eased off the head was half way out.

“No, no! Don’t stop there!” Harry felt like screaming but instead a few tears slipped from his eyes.

“Sshh.” Louis stroked Harry’s hair, tilting his chin and making eye contact. “Just breathe deep and slow until the next pain.”

Harry nodded, eyes focussed on Louis and breathing with the same deep breaths as him until another moan filled the room.

Ashton made sure his hand was supporting the head of the tiny baby appearing from between Harry’s legs. “Pant Harry, just a little longer the head is almost here.”

Harry clenched his jaw and tried to pant through the pain. “But … I … need … to … puuuuuuush!”

Harry gave in to the all consuming urge and gave a small push, he couldn’t help it, and Ashton felt the head beginning to pass. Louis gripped Harry’s arms as he felt him shaking. A sudden chocked off scream took him by surprise and his hands tightened on Harry’s arms.

“That’s it, that’s it. The heads out! You’re nearly there,” Ashton ducked down between Harry’s legs and then squeaked excitedly. “Harry, baby has brown hair, just like yours,” Ashton grinned, his hand supporting the tiny head that was nestled between Harry’s legs. “Next contraction give me a huge push and I think baby will be here.”

Harry’s chest heaved as he took huge, shuddering breaths and his head dropped to Louis’s shoulder. Louis held him tightly, making comforting noises as he looked over Harry’s shoulder and saw Ashton pick up a towel. The towel, as well as Ashton’s unoccupied hand, slipped once more between Harry’s legs. Louis swallowed thickly, thanking whatever God was following this tour around that he hadn’t been alone with Harry when this had happened, that they had Ashton with them who knew how to deliver a baby.

“God, another ones coming.”

Louis immediately leant his mouth to Harry’s ear. “Big push Hazza, time to meet baby.”

This time Harry didn’t drop his head to his chest but instead kept it on Louis’s shoulder. Louis felt him pull in tight and felt his teeth grind as he pushed with all his might. Suddenly Ashton was moving and Harry was slumping forward on to his knees, crying with relief and gasping for air. After a second of bright, white noise a thin wail pierced the air. It was the most beautiful sound Harry had ever heard.

“Well done mom!” Ashton wrapped the baby gently in the towel as he emerged and put the tiny hat on its head. “Gently help him turn and sit on the towels, Louis. He’s gonna be sore and leaking for a while.” Ashton looked down at the squalling infant he was cradling while Louis wrinkled his nose at the though of ‘leaking’. "Baby’s tiny, Harry. Early tiny, but a good color and seems to have Niall’s lungs. So I don’t think you need to panic.”

"Hey!” Niall said from his side of the room.

Louis snorted and very carefully maneuvered Harry over the pile of towels, Ashton holding the newborn, and then sat with Harry between his legs and leaning back against his chest. Louis moved Harry’s arms until they were in the necessary position and then Ashton leant forward and placed the baby in them, leaning back on his heels and smiling widely.

“I … I did it Lou! I did it!” he changed the position of the baby slightly and then stroked its tiny cheek, unable to tear his eyes away from the blinking blue ones of the crying bundle in his arms.

“It’s so soft.” Harry felt like his heart was about to explode, he felt a surge of emotion like he’d never felt before. How could he not have wanted this? Holding his baby like this he knew that he would die to protect it, that he’d never wanted anything more. The baby stopped wailing as Harry cupped the back of it’s head and opened it’s eyes to look up at it’s mom.

Louis felt himself sniffing back tears of his own. “Oh, Harry. She’s gorgeous.”

“She?” Liam and Niall bounced forward, Zayn hot on their heels. “It’s a girl?”

Louis blinked rapidly and looked at Harry. “Dude, what is it? Do you know?”

Harry shook his head. “No, I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant, I didn’t go to the doctor,” he stared down at the infant. “I was so stupid.”

Without thinking, Louis nuzzled Harry’s neck and then leant down and took an edge of the towel in his fingers. “Um, can I?”

Harry smiled and nodded and Louis carefully pulled the towel back to reveal what lay between the infant’s legs. Harry beamed, his smile lighting up the room. “I have a son.”

Ashton grinned and looked at his watch. “Twenty-two minutes, dude! That’s pretty impressive for a first baby!”

Harry looked down at him as Ashton tied some string around the cord. “Is he ok? He’s about four weeks early.”

Ashton looked at the small bundle now beginning to settle against Harry’s chest. “Yeah mate. He’s absolutely fine.”

xxxxxx xxxxxx

Poppy was chattering animatedly beside Calum, her little hand tight in his, and Ashton was walking a couple of paces in front. His Vans squeaked on the linoleum floor as he searched for the right room number amongst the never ending and identical green corridors. The small family rounded a corner and the numbers they were looking for finally appeared on the door. Ashton knocked tentatively on it and waited for an answer from inside the room.

“We’re just having breakfast, but come in.” The voice was clear but quiet, carrying an edge of exhaustion.

Ashton pushed the door open and smiled as he saw Harry looking serene with his new son cradled in his arms. The baby was sucking eagerly at Harry’s left nipple, one tiny hand pressed against his chest and the other in a tight fist waving in the air. Harry was shirtless and the baby was in just a diaper. Skin to skin, just like when Ashton fed Poppy after she was born. In front of Harry was a finished bowl of cereal and the remains of some toast. A mug of Yorkshire tea was still steaming, as yet untouched.

“Hey. Sure it’s ok to come in?” Calum asked.

“Yeah. Come in, come in.” Harry smiled and nodded in the direction of the chairs beside his bed.

“I … um …” Calum took in the fact that Harry was feeding the baby and scratched his head. “I think me and Poppy will go to the cafe.” Poppy opened her mouth to protest. “I’ll get you a hot chocolate.” He said, smiling at her.

Poppy looked from her mom to her dad a couple of times then nodded, grabbing Calum’s hand and pulling him towards the lift at the other end of the corridor. The door closed silently behind them leaving Ashton and Harry alone with the infant.

Ashton laughed. “I swear that kid is a chocolate addict already. And it’s not like she isn’t going to see me feeding this one like that.” He patted his bump for emphasis. “Just Calum being over protective.”

Harry laughed and rolled his eyes. As if any kid growing up with Ashton as a parent wouldn’t be addicted to sugar. Or have an overprotective father.

“So, mom.” Harry couldn’t help himself when he grinned at the word. “You decided what you’re gonna do yet?”

Harry gazed down at the boy in his arms. “I was going to give him up for adoption, but I can’t. As soon as I held him … Well, I can’t give him up. I just love him so much.” Harry looked down at his son. “He’s the best accident that ever happened to me.” He brought a long finger to the boy’s cheek and smiled softly.

Ashton grinned and put his hand on top of his own bump. “Yeah. They have a habit of getting under your skin like that. You got a name for this gorgeous little guy yet?” Ashton looked at the small baby who was fussing just a little.

“Yeah, actually.”

At that moment the baby finished his breakfast and let go of Harry’s nipple. Harry lifted him to his shoulder to burp him. As Harry rubbed and patted his sons back Ashton went through the bag of things he’d got yesterday and unearthed a cloth to mop up any baby sick which was very common with early day feedings.

“Thanks.” Harry said, surprise flashing in his eyes as he positioned it over his shoulder under the tiny infant.

“No problem.” Ashton smiled. “Been there, done that.” He looked down at his bump. “About to do it again. Anyway. Name?”

“I wanted to talk to you about that.” Harry rubbed his sons back and bit his lip, his eyes dropping to the blanket over his legs. “I wanted to name him William Ashton Styles.”

“William Ashton?” Ashton looked a little confused as to why Harry would need to talk to him about that and then it sank in and he looked stunned. “As in … my name?” He pointed to his own chest.

“Yeah. You helped. I tried to push you away but you still helped. I was terrified and you kinda made it ok. Got me through it. You delivered him.” Harry laughed as William burped loudly. “Delivered him backstage on tour, pretty much bang on when we should have gone on stage. Quite a story to tell him when he’s older.”

Ashton looked overwhelmed. “Are you sure?”

Harry pointed to the little plastic crib on wheels which bore the name William Ashton Styles. “Kind of already did it. Louis registered him for me first thing this morning.”

Ashton leant in and gave Harry a one armed hug. “Where did the William come from?”

Harry blushed. “It’s … um … Louis’s middle name.” William made a couple of unhappy noises and Harry shushed him gently. “He’s been amazing. He dealt with all the staff and promoters last night, and he warned me that it’s all over the papers and the internet already. He stayed for ages, made sure I ate and drank, helped me to pump some milk so he could give William a bottle while I was asleep. The boys had to practically drag him to the bus last night to make him sleep. ”

Ashton sat smiling as he watched mom and baby, completely content with each other. Harry had bonded with his son the second he had held him, and he really was a natural mom. He held him perfectly, responded well to his cries and he breastfed like he’d done it before. He’d been broody since he was old enough to be aware of babies and he was made for this. But it didn’t take a genius to figure out that the reason he had hidden his pregnancy was because he was scared, for lots of reasons. But babies had a way of making you want them. And this one was Harry’s, his flesh and blood, and the second he had held him everything had changed. He wanted him so much, he was completely in love with him. Ashton had seen it all flash in his eyes the second he had put the squalling infant against his chest.

Ashton leant forward and opened the bag that they had given Harry yesterday and pulled out a tiny red onesie. “Calum insisted we got you this.”

Harry looked at the tiny outfit and laughed. “That is amazing. Wait till Louis sees it.” Ashton was holding up a tiny Doncaster Rovers onesie made to look like their kit complete with boots.

“And I got you this. It just drew me in, you know?” Ashton showed Harry a blue onesie made of the softest material he had ever felt with ‘Rock Star’ stitched on it in silver. It even came with a soft blue hat, which had cat ears, for some reason. Harry’s face practically split in half as he grinned even wider.

“Oh Ashton, it’s perfect. I was wondering what I was going to take him home in.” Harry placed William in the dip of his crossed legs, making sure he was safe before taking the outfit from Ashton. When he’d cooed over it he put the outfit down and picked William up again, unable to keep his hands off him.

“Speaking of that, word got around. Fast. You’re not gonna have to worry about this little one for a while yet. Me and Calum, and um … most of tour actually, went shopping this morning. We all pitched in, the whole tour, and we dropped a carrier for taking him in the car and a playpen off on your bus. There’s a changing mat and some blankets, real nice ones, a bottle sterilizer, a ton of diapers and a couple of baby sleeping bags as they’re better than sheets and pillows for a newborn. We got you a stroller, so he can travel around the sites with you, some bottles, a crib and some comfy pajamas … for nursing and stuff.” Harry giggled and blushed a little. “There’s other stuff too. Clothes, toys, dummies … Everyone on tour wanted to welcome the baby.”

Harry’s eyes welled up at the kindness Ashton, his band and the rest of the tour were showing him. He was about to say something to Ashton when the room door burst open and in ran an excited Louis Tomlinson, who launched himself straight at the bed which held Harry and his sleepy son.

“Haz, Hazza, Harry, Harold! Can I see him? Can I? Can I?” Louis held out his arms towards Harry as he loudly begged to hold the baby. “Uncle Louis wants a cuddle.”

Ashton stood up and walked to the door, waving as he went. The band needed some time together to adjust. Not that it looked like it was going to be hard. The band were already all totally besotted with the little boy. Harry waved back then laughed and shook his head, looking at his band fondly as Louis grinned and wriggled beside him.

"Jesus Louis, you’d think you’d never seen a baby before.” He looked down at the baby, his baby, and smiled. “Ok. Just be careful with him. Support his head.”

Louis rolled his eyes and his fingers twitched with impatience. “I know that Harold, now please can I have a cuddle?”

Harry smiled and carefully passed his tiny bundle over to Louis who cradled him gently and began to chatter animatedly about how much he was going to love touring with them, how much his uncles would spoil him and how lucky he was to have Harry as his mommy. Liam had already planned all the Disney movies he was going to show him and how they’d sing along as soon as he was old enough. Niall walked over and told William about the bass he’d get him as soon as he was big enough, the tiny drums uncle Josh had seen, the guitar uncle Ed would get him and the piano he knew his Uncle Louis was already planning on. Zayn whispered about the hundreds of paintings he wanted to do of William, enough to fill Harry’s house.

William waved his hands around and cooed excitedly and Harry couldn’t stop smiling. Seeing Louis with him, watching the way William reacted to him … Despite hating the fact that it was happening when he was pregnant Harry had noticed that the baby had always been especially active when they were all singing. But oddly when Louis talked or sang alone it had always calmed him, the kicks and rolls in his stomach slowing and stopping as the baby obviously slept. He had never been so grateful for Louis.

And speaking of Louis …

Harry shifted a little as Louis sat beside him on the bed and snuggled in to his side. Louis draped an arm around his shoulder. “I can’t believe you’re a mommy.”

“Me neither.” Harry looked at Louis with pride in his eyes. “I hadn’t thought … I wasn’t sure … I never really thought I’d get here. I hadn’t planned on keeping him.” Harry cast his eyes down and stopped.

“You don’t need to tell me anything, Haz.” Louis stroked his hair gently.

He looked up at Louis and his eyes became glassy. “I was going to go home, give birth then hand him over to a hospital somehow.” He looked over to Liam, Niall and Zayn who was still chattering animatedly to William. “I can’t believe I didn’t want him.”

Louis pulled Harry a little closer as Zayn played with William’s hand. “You never would have given him up. You know that.”

Harry tore his gaze back to Louis. “No. I couldn’t.” He lifted his eyes to Louis. “I could never have done that to him.”

Louis smiled. Something inside his head telling him; this is what I want. Just, how do I tell Harry?

Little did he know Harry was thinking the same about him.


End file.
